Why this scripture encourages me…
My downcast eyes looked up and my heart rested on the cross, pondering why Jesus would do this for me.
In childhood, I thought that I had to be good for God to love me. I visualized my soul with a letter “s” on it for each one of my sins and I worried that it was completely covered. I hoped there was still some space left but I was worried it was all gone. If God’s love depended on me earning it, I knew I was in trouble.
The first time I heard that it is God who comes down to us was in a membership class for mine and Tom’s first church home. It was the first protestant church I had ever attended. I couldn’t believe my ears! God comes down to us through His only begotten Son, Jesus? Jesus then lives among us and teaches us about His Father? He heals and feeds multitudes, even raising some from the dead? He demonstrates perfect obedience to His Father when He takes the sins of the whole world to the cross and pays for them? All sins, mine included? It was my first awakening to the enormity of God’s love for us and mercy toward us.
God used a time of great worry to bring me home to Him. (I share this experience under the “I See” toggle on the Pursued and Awakened page.) In my worry I stopped resisting Him and ran to Him! Suddenly, it didn’t matter to me anymore that I felt unworthy. My need for Him was greater. Hope dawned for the first time in a long time when I realized that it wasn’t too late for me.